Wants that could be needs.

It's a little early for me to have found myself wandering over to write a letter, but truthfully, what is time when the world has stopped? The light dies, and night creeps over the horizon and the sun shines and the birds sing and I fall asleep when the first rays of the sun begin to find their way around the stars.

But I don't want to be sad or wistful and melancholic tonight. I want to be beautiful and passionate and tell stories of faraway places where the world exists but just barely. I want to be on top of a mountain, searching for the lights and waiting for the moon to show the dark side for just a moment. I want to walk into the forest and find a hidden path to where the wild things are. I want the skies to split apart and thrust us into a parallel dimension where fireflies live forever and all the beautiful moments we've ever lived through are bottled and sold on the streets to strangers.

I want to be the Enchantress from a lost kingdom and create a world from naught all by myself. I want planets to collide and galaxies to form right before my eyes in a flash of light so brilliant that every sunrise and sunset will pale in comparison. I want to dance in the Hanging Gardens and bring to life every wood nymph that has ever breathed upon a cursed land. I want the old gods to rise in front of my eyes and lose the night in the oblivion of their names.

I want every person that I have ever given a piece of my heart to love me back, without questions or their unfortunate answers. I want to drive somebody to the brink of insanity and raise them up from the depths and place a crown upon their head. I want my soul to be on fire, sometimes literally and sometimes metaphorically but always with such beauty that nobody walks away unscathed by the heat. I want everything and nothing less than the most ecstatic moments the universe has to offer.

I want to run away from every city that has ever broken my heart and write myself a new life in a city whose heart I am yet to find. I want to find the meaning of my life and a purpose that means everything but almost nothing when you know that time is an illusion and the past is the future, no matter what we try to do about it. I want to forget everything that I know to be true so that I can fashion a new world of better truths and helpful lies.

I just don't want to cry tonight.

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